Freedom From Fear

Stepping out of my comfort zone is never easy, and last night I was waaaaaaay off my comfy, cozy little perch. In real life I am not a very assertive person. At church functions I'd rather wash dishes and wipe tables than be the one holding the microphone or making the calls to set things up.

Last night I found myself papering the town with announcements, bulletins, blog posts, emails, everything I could think of to let people know about Fiction Friday. At one point I sat back and thought, What on earth am I doing? I began to panic and almost didn't finish what I felt should be done, but before I hit the bailing out point, I got back to work. I changed my focus to the task at hand. What was the task? Oh, it wasn't announcing Fiction Fridays nor inviting people to participate, it was obedience.

My life was characterized by fear, up until a year and a half ago when I quit running and started submitting and following God. The only way I could find the courage to follow the path He was pointing me toward was to give it all to Him. I finally realized that my responsibility in life is to simply obey God. God, the Lord of the harvest, is responsible for the outcome and results.

That means that I'm responsible for writing to the very best of my ability, and obeying His leading, whether I understand the why or how of it, and God is free to use it however He wants. I don't need to fear failing in my writing because the whole reason I write is to obey God. By laying it at His feet I'm no longer afraid of making a fool of myself—it's His to use as He wants, if He wants.

What we, as people, consider personal success might not be what God would call success for us. By simply obeying God, He became my safety net. If He asks me to walk across a tightrope, He's my safety net, ready to catch me and keep me safe . If He asks me to swing on a trapeze, He's my safety net, ready to catch me and keep me safe. There have been times I've felt like I was on the tightrope and there have been times I've felt that what He led me to do was like performing stunts on a trapeze, with a live audience watching me.

But it wasn't about my performance. It was about my obedience. God's goal for me might not have been a perfectly executed back-flip into my partner's outstretched hands. His goal might have been to demonstrate His faithful ability to catch His flying and falling daughter.

It boils down to obedience. Obedience to do the things He calls me to—even if I don't understand why, or how, or if I'll succeed or not. Am I willing to fall on my face—for God?

If I'm willing to fall on my face before God, then I should be willing to fall on my face for Him.

Whether I succeed at anything, as the world defines success, is not the issue. My obedience in following my Lord and Savior is. If I'm obeying Him, He's free to use me, however He wants—even if that means that I end up looking foolish or silly to the world around me. As long as my goal and focus is obedience to God then I'm on the right path. Besides, being flat on my face isn't a bad place to be. It's the perfect position for praising God.

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