Just Call Me Casper

Sometimes I want to wave my hands in the air and ask if anyone hears me.

Did you say something, Mom? 

I hate feeling like I’m invisible.

I hate feeling like I’m talking inside a bubble.

I think I’ve turned into Charlie Brown’s teacher. Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah.

Am I alone feeling like this? Is it a mom-of-teenagers-and-older-kids thing?

The other day, after introducing myself to a group and getting no response (none!!), and after saying something to my son and getting no response (until I reminded him I’m mom), and after saying something and having my husband talk over me, changing what I said, I began to feel kinda… vapory. Floaty.  Was I really there? Did I really say anything? Maybe I just imagined it all… But I knew I hadn’t imagined those things.

Then I got downright mad.

I did. (Does it count if hormones were screaming in the background?)

I don’t get mad like that often. Thank goodness. But then the edge of anger left and I fell into a pit I hate. Self-pity. ugh.

After wallowing around in self-pity for way too long I decided to just be a ghost. I like being a hermit so settling into ghosthood shouldn’t be bad. Right? Talking to myself is normal. At least for me it is.

But then I heard that still, small Voice.

I hear you.

…if anyone is God-fearing and does His will, He hears him. John 9:31b NAS

But know that the Lord has set apart the godly man for Himself; The Lord hears when I call to Him. Psalm 4:3 NAS

I’m not talking in a bubble.

God hears me.

And when I’m honest with myself, I know the others hear me too—they’re just busy in their own world to acknowledge mine. It’s okay. I get it. Sadly, I’ve done the same to others.

Just knowing God hears me, and listens to me, was enough to pull me out of my self-pity.  I mean—the God of the Universe hears me.  Me! The spoiled, whining, self-pitying bump-on-the-log me.

It’s okay if others don’t acknowledge what I say. I can be Casper—the friendly ghost.

Because God hears me!

And He hears you too.

So tell me, how do you combat the I’m-feeling-invisible monster?

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Patient I'm Not

The other day my awesome agent, Linda Glaz, called me patient—something I’ve been called many times but have never been comfortable with.

My two oldest demonstrating how much I stink at times.

I’m really not a patient person. In fact, many times I’m quite IMpatient. Just ask my kids and my husband. They’ll assure you that patience is NOT one of my virtues.

Many times I’ve tried explaining to people that I’m really not a patient person, but I gave up when they didn’t believe me on the first or even second try. Now I don’t even bother trying to change their mind and it’s nice believing their misconception of me. It makes me feel better about myself. I feel more mature, put together, spiritual.

Sounds sickening, doesn’t it?
Yeah. It does. Especially when the truth is ugly.

It’s not patience people see when they see me sitting so calm and smiley.
It’s laziness.

Ouch.
That’s a big, bad word in my vocabulary.
But it’s true. It’s true of me.

Why did Linda call me patient? I have a manuscript she’s been shopping and an editor is showing interest in it. (YAY!!) If there’s one thing you can count on in the publishing business, it’s that things take time. Lots of time. It’s hurry up and wait. And wait. And wait. Quite often I’m okay with all that waiting. But not because I’m patient.

I’m okay with it because as long as I’m waiting, I don’t have to be doing anything with it. I can complacently bob on the waves of that particular harbor, waiting.

It’s sheer laziness on my part.

My oldest masquerading.

Laziness has often masqueraded as patience in my life.
Laziness is not a virtue to be proud of. Just look at some of what the Bible has to say about laziness…

The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the soul of the diligent is made fat. ~Prov.13:4

The sluggard does not plow after the autumn, so he begs during the harvest and has nothing. ~Prov 20:4

The desire of the sluggard puts him to death, for his hands refuse to work; ~Prov 21:25

Nasty, huh?!

I’ve been working hard to change things in my life. I want what looks like patience to BE patience, not laziness. It’s not an easy change to make but it’s a worthwhile one.

How about you? Does laziness masquerade as patience in your life? Maybe laziness isn’t an issue for you but something else is. Are you ready to call it what it is and deal with it?

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Better than Magic

Welcome to this week's a 2 z
and the letter B.If you're joining in the meme, be sure to link up with us at the end of this post. Find more info about the a 2 z meme here.


My family is NOT a quiet family. We all have strong personalities and even the two of us who appear "easygoing" are not--it's just a thin layer of easygoing over a mile-wide stubborn streak. Needless to say, tempers flash often here.

One day, recently, one of my sons came stomping into the house. He wears big boots so everyone knew he was ticked. Even Toby. Being the loving, kind, gentle mother that I am NOT, I wanted to get through his thick skull and remind him there were better ways to handle his anger.

Thankfully, the girls were goofy and their goofiness infected me right before he snarled "Yeah? How?!" (or I might have snarled back at him in my best mean-mom voice)

I said the first thing I could think of...

Bummer!

It worked better than magic.
His anger fizzled and the girls giggled.
Music to this mom's ears.

So, the next time you're tempted to blow your top, try Bummer! instead. And for extra oomph, get the twang in there too.  The short version is sooooo much better. LoL.

And that anger management tip I learned from Tim Hawkins. Here's just a short minute-and-a-half clip of the song that still makes me snicker...even while listening to the long version by ol' Gordon. (Thank you Tim for making something good from poor Edmond Fitzgerald! LoL)


If you're joining us for the a2z meme by posting on your blog this week about the letter B, be sure to add your name and the link to that particular post in the linky gadget here.

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Bench Time

For the first time in over two years, I'm not teaching Bible study. I really needed the break. My husband knew it. My bff knew it. My study group probably knew it. But I was in denial. I didn't want to accept that I needed the break. When my husband asked me to take the summer off, I did, and I'm glad.

But I'm ready for the summer to be over! LoL.


Here's some things I've learned while sitting on the bench this summer...

The bench is a good place to rest and regroup. 

I played basketball in high school so I knew that from experience—but I needed to experience it again. I was worn out emotionally, spiritually, and physically from trying to keep up with all I was doing.

Room needed to be made for other work and other things I needed to focus on. My priorities were way out of balance and this summer on the bench has helped me get them closer to how they need to be. We've also had things come up that I couldn't have handled if I wasn't on the bench. God knew that and sidelined me for my own good. Not only did I not teach Bible study this summer (and part of this coming fall) but I went mostly offline. I've been absent from here on my blog, from Facebook, and even from some of the loops I'm a part of. And it's been sooooo good for me.

Whining will land you on the bench. 

More than just for resting and regrouping, I landed on the bench for discipline and instruction.

I had begun to whine about everything important. Seriously whine—not the tongue-in-cheek whining we often do as we laugh about something. My perspective was skewed and it affected my attitude and my service. More about how God brought this home to me later.

When God gives you a spiritual gift, you better use it. 

If you don't, you'll feel unfulfilled, frustrated, and even miserable at times.

Never in my life would I guess how much I've come to love teaching. I still don't like being in front of people, but I've accepted and learned to deal with the fact that it's par for the course if I'm going to teach. That's where stepping into my persona has come in handy.

Recently I've hit the point where if I don't get to teach something soon I feel like I'm going to explode—and it still cracks me up. Who'd a thunk? But still, I needed this time on the bench, and not just because life overwhelmed me.

In many ways, it's not been an easy summer. May was an emotional tsunami for me. June slammed into me with family... stuff. July brought big changes in my routine and life. Not bad, but enough to leave me standing in the middle of my kitchen staring at buckets and trying to remember how to do things I used to do all the time, all the while juggling my “new” life. It's been interesting! God knew all this was coming and He prepared me for it—even though I didn't necessarily like how He did it at the time.

Being benched isn't fun, but it's necessary sometimes. And I've learned to be thankful for the bench.

So tell me, how do you use the time when you're on the bench?

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Stepping Stones or Grave Stones?

If there's one thing I hear over and over in the writing circles I'm part of, it's that failures and rejections can be stepping stones. And it's not just in writing, it's in all of life.

Last fall I sent a requested proposal to my dream publishing house, the goal I've been targeting for years. Many weeks later I received a very nice letter from the editor I'd sent to saying they weren't interested in the manuscript. Rejected. BUT, she took the time to tell me why. She told me what was missing, giving me something concrete to work with.

So, I had two choices. I could see the rejection as a grave stone or as a stepping stone.

Since the proposal was requested as a result of Seekerville's Read Me Contest, I emailed Tina to give her the news and to thank her for the contest which gave me the opportunity. Her reply to me was wonderful. “This is exciting. You have gotten your first editorial critique! Time to revise!”

Rejection vs. editorial critique.
Grave stone vs. stepping stone.

Same exact number of letters, totally different results.

If I were to see that rejection letter as just a rejection, it could easily become a grave stone. I could let it become the excuse to quit writing fiction—for a time or forever. But, if I see it as a stepping stone, the experience becomes the first, and often scariest or hardest proposal under my belt and off my list of things to dread and worry about. Besides, I now know what I need to do to bring that manuscript up to par—through an editor's eyes.

Yes, I failed at my ultimate objective—a contract with my dream publisher, but I took great strides along the journey of reaching that goal. Not just that, but I know a few more things I need to do to help me along that journey toward that goal.

Just think about the game Mother May I. How often did you hear “No steps needed, you win”? (or something like that, LoL) You didn't. It was always a series of small or giant steps forward or backward until you eventually reached the goal.

So why do we expect to immediately reach our goals?
Why do we see failure as bad?

Failing is only bad if we see it as a grave stone on a project. If we see it as a stepping stone we can be happy that we are one step closer. And maybe, just maybe, it's NOT all about reaching the goal. Maybe it's about the journey and the witness we are along that journey or the glory we bring to God through that journey. We can't become so fixated on the goal that we miss all the other things along the way.

As Christians, if we see failures as grave stones, we are neutralized—no longer effective, and Satan wins that round. Certainly not what we want to happen.

It's a mental issue—how we choose to see the failure.
It's part of the war we're in—and wars are made up of many battles. Few wars are won with one decisive crushing victory—especially where our minds are concerned. That means every time we catch ourselves thinking of the failure as a grave stone, we need to stop, turn around and choose to see it as a stepping stone. It's a choice we may have to make many times a day.

So that rejection letter I received... was it a grave stone or a stepping stone? A stepping stone. I'm hard at work on the manuscript, adding in the elements the editor said it was missing and changing the things she mentioned so I can submit it somewhere else. And you know what? If this manuscript never finds a home, it has served its purpose—it's helped me along the journey of life, helped me face lots of fears I had and shown me many cool things. Even if the manuscript is committed to the Dust Bunnies and never sees the light of day, it will have been a stepping stone.

What about you? Is there a grave stone in your life you need to change to a stepping stone? Ask God to help you see it differently then step in faith and choose to think about it differently. It's the difference between stepping backward and forward—between neutralization and victory.

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Got to vs. Get to

Many times in my life things get twisted about and I end up on the wrong side of things. That's happened just recently and I quickly hit the frazzled stage. I was stuck in the got to camp, and life wasn't happy. Let me tell ya, my attitude didn't smell too sweet. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. My husband was sweet enough to point out a difference between got to and get to and God reminded me of another difference.

I had let a privilege turn into duty simply because of using the wrong vowel. I was saying “I've gOt to do this” instead of “I gEt to do this”. And when it comes to the things that God has called us to do, we get to do them. We get to let God use us to accomplish His purpose. It's a privilege! If we get stuck on got to and never move back to get to, God just might use someone else and we'll be out a huge blessing.

Not only could we miss out on God's blessings because of our got to attitudes, but viewing things as got to's shows a spirit of not being thankful. God has done so much for me, exceedingly more than I could ever imagine or comprehend, that I should do the work He's called me to out of love for Him. I should let my service be an expression of love for God. Just like I do things for my husband and children simply because I love them, I should do things for God simply because I love Him.


Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe;
~Hebrews 12:28

GOt to is serving God out of duty.
GEt to is serving God out of love.
The difference in the written word may be just a vowel,
but the difference it makes in your heart is vital and invigorating.

So, which vowel are you using?

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Gourmet People

This last week Debby Mayne was here at Patterings and Esther is the winner of Love Finds You in Treasure Island, Florida. Congratulations, Esther! Coming up on Tuesday and Wednesday, in this week's author spotlight, is Cara Putman and another book giveaway.
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In today's instant society there are mixes and powders for everything, but the one that makes me snicker most is baby powder. I can just see a little girl stirring water into baby powder and expecting a baby.

Life isn't always instant though. In fact, none of the great men of God were instant men—they were gourmet. It was years after being anointed king that David finally took the position God told him he would have. During those years he was basically made an outlaw by his father-in-law, yet he never became angry nor bitter about the amount of time that passed. He did what God put before him, and he sought God's leading constantly. God used those years to better prepare David for the purpose He called him to.

There have been many times in my life that I felt I was going nowhere—simply treading water, and killing time. But that's not how it was. God was using those times to prepare me, and He's still preparing me. Am I following David's example of not becoming impatient or angry? Am I seeking God's next step for me and making myself available for His use?

Gourmet cooking is not a 'just add water' affair. It takes time and energy and even special ingredients...I'd rather be God's gourmet dish than my own instant generic-box-blahness.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9 (NAS)

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Taught By a Nosegay

Welcome to Fiction Friday! Today's hostess is Vonnie at My Back Door Ministry. Be sure to join us there for links to more fun fiction.

This has been a busy week for me, and when I sat down to pick a story for today, I needed something to pick me up. As I scrolled through my file, I was very surprised to see I hadn't posted this story yet. Not only is it one of my all-time favorites, but it was also my first Editor's Choice at Faithwriters, which makes it pretty special to me.

Taught By a Nosegay

For ten years I’ve been the chief craft-lady at my church and I’ve made the centerpieces and favors for the Ladies’ Spring Banquet, but not this year. Oh no, they went and asked some new lady that no one knew very well to do them. Secretly I hoped the banquet would come close to a flop so they’d see they needed me. But there was no such luck. Inside the Fellowship Hall, all was calm and peaceful. Most of the seats were taken, too.

“You who! Vickie, you can sit with us!”

I stifled a groan and painted on what I hoped was a pleasant smile. “Mrs. Milligan, how nice to see you tonight!” Mrs. Milligan was truly a dear soul, but she loved to talk. As I thought about it, I realized that was just what I needed: a chatty table so I could just sit and stew.

“Aren’t the centerpieces lovely? I was so disappointed when I heard they’d asked that new lady, Paula Whats-her-name, to do them this year. They say she’s had a hard time settling in, but that she’s doing much better now. You’ve always done such beautiful arrangements, dear, and it’s become a highlight of the banquet for me! I still have some of the favors that you made!” Mrs. Milligan may like to talk, but she did make me feel better. “But look at these favors, Vickie-Dear! What do you make of these?”

They were darling silk nosegays, tied with a bow so you could put them in a vase at home, but there was something glaringly wrong with them--right in the middle was the ugliest little flower. I was astounded! Was Paula out of her mind? Did she think that flower was pretty? How could she think to camouflage that with even a hundred other pretty ones?

Mrs. Milligan was interrupted by our pastor’s wife who was opening the banquet. “Good evening, ladies! Isn’t it wonderful to be here tonight? Now, I don’t want to keep dinner waiting, but I heard the buzz and thought I’d take care of one little thing before we go any farther, since I’m sure you’ll enjoy the dinner more once it’s taken care of.”

She held up a larger version of the favors and pointed to a similarly ugly flower tucked in with all the pretty ones. “This is what’s had y’all buzzing since you came in, isn’t it?” There was a loud murmuring as ladies agreed. “Well, do you know what this is?”

I could imagine hearing every lady screaming, “Yeah! It’s an ugly flower!” But no one said a word since Paula Whats-her-name was in the room, too.

The pastor’s wife said, “This is an ugly flower!” The ladies let go of the breaths they’d been holding. “Well, it is, isn’t it?”

This time there was no holding back, “Yes!”

“Can all these other pretty flowers hide this one? No, they can’t! When I look at this nosegay all I can see is this ONE UGLY FLOWER, and I know that’s all y’all see, too.” The ladies all laughed and agreed with her.

“We’re all like this nosegay, did you know that?” The room quieted down. “We can have all the pretty flowers in our lives, but if there’s bitterness or wrath or anger or clamor or slander or any malice in our life it can never be camouflaged, no matter how many pretty flowers we use. If we don’t get rid of the uglies that’s all that will be seen--the ugliness. So, y’all do everyone a favor now. Get ahold of that ugly flower in your nosegay and pluck it out. Just ease it right out and toss it away.” She pulled the ugly flower out of the large nosegay and tossed it over her shoulder. Throughout the room ladies pulled out their ugly flowers and laughingly tossed them over their shoulders, too.

“There! That’s so much better! A life without bitterness, or slander, or WHATever is a beautiful life! Now, let’s pray and ask God to do the same in our hearts and to bless this dinner!”

“Oh, Father,” I silently prayed, “forgive me for becoming bitter and angry over not making the centerpieces and favors! Please remove that bitterness and anger and make me beautiful.”


**Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Ephesians 4:31 (NASB)

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Be sure to join us at My Back Door Ministry for links to more Fiction Friday!

Also, on Tuesday will be an interview with Linore Rose Burkard and there will be a drawing for her newest release The House in Grosvenor Square. We need to have 10 comments to hold the book drawing, so be sure to stop by and tell a friend!

I will be drawing for Cheryl Wyatt's book, Ready-Made Family Saturday evening, and posting the winner on Sunday, so you still have time to leave a comment on the interview with Cheryl Wyatt and be entered in that book drawing.
Have a wonderful weekend!

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Interruptions or 'But God's?

Plans have a way of changing. Have you ever noticed that?

I've been looking forward to this week for awhile. I had great plans of getting caught up on life—yanno, the important things: writing, blogging, visiting my blog friends, writing, getting caught up in the class I took (now that it's done, LoL). But God had other plans.

Why is it that when I see that phrase 'But God' in the Bible I love it, but when I experience it played out in my everyday life it's not quite so thrilling?

What's a 'But God' happening? This week it's been tackling a cleaning job with my girls instead of my plans of school and writing day. And spending an afternoon and evening with my family setting up the staging they built for our church Easter program. Family time working together. Time spent creating memories and having fun while working together. Days of barely touching my computer, let alone doing any writing. Days when 'But God' was allowed to play out in my life.

My attitude is key. If I throw even a silent, internal temper tantrum over these change in plans (interruptions), I lose out on part of the blessing of seeing a 'But God' at work in my life because my bad attitude will squelch the blessing and infect those around me with my ick. Those blessings are priceless, and I would've missed them this week if I had let my bad attitude pop up over the change to my plans.

It's in the everyday events where we have to chose to accept and thrill in the 'But God' happenings.

How has 'But God' played out for you? Do you see His hand in the little things?

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