Life in Limbo

Me and Toby.

That would be where I'm currently at. Limbo. My least favorite place to be. This time around is different though. I'm okay with not knowing what's coming next in my life--it's become normal for me. I'm okay with being between things--one thing has ended and the next hasn't yet begun. It's a stage--temporary, like the doldrums.

But this is different...

After a life of being in church, I've missed attending for the better part of six months. The first months I was in Arizona, twice, then I was sick for the whole month of January, and then we worked the monkeys every weekend in Cincinnati (five hours from where we live in southern Illinois) and church wasn't an option. I'm so thankful that God gave us the Bible--His Word to us that we are free to read any time we want. I'm also thankful for my commentaries, especially good ol' Warren Wiersbe. His commentary filled the gap left by missing all those sermons at church.

But missing church stinks. I missed the preaching, the corporate worship, my friends. I feel totally unplugged.

In Sunday School, our fabulous ladies' class teacher talked about all the jobs there are in the church and how God has equipped each believer with a spiritual gift so that together we can do what needs to be done. We talked about those jobs and the spiritual gifts that would be useful in those positions. Later, before the evening service, I was caught by one of the men on the nominating committee (it's that time of year in our church) and he verified that I needed to be taken out of my spot. It hurt.

Why did I need out? Because there's a good chance that being in church every Sunday like we once were isn't going to be the norm.

Playing with Toby.

After being so plugged in and involved, becoming a spectator... almost a visitor ...is hard.

Our Sunday School teacher left us with this challenge for the week:

How am I using the spiritual gifts God gave me?

To be honest, I wanted to cry. I don't feel like I'm using my gifts at all. I've not been in church, I've not been part of a ladies' Bible study, and I've not been writing or blogging--all ways that I contributed to God's family in the past. All things that I miss greatly. So I've been doing some heavy duty thinking about this. During this season of not being plugged in at my local church, what can I do use the spiritual gifts God has given me to use for Him?

So tell me, how are you using the spiritual gifts God has given you?

Tweet

Phoebe is here!

I'm so excited about today! Not only is it my sister's ahem-mumble-oh birthday (no foolin'!) but today is the day I get to kick off a very special tour. Four or five years ago (girls, remind me...how long has it been now??) God put me with an incredible group of ladies. We've adventured together over many miles and today we get to celebrate. Yvonne Blake's book, A Home for Phoebe, is HERE and we're beyond excited.

To help us celebrate, Zeke the peddler has promised to get us safely from one home to another.

Meet Zeke...

Zeke the Peddler wears a floppy hat and a gray coat, whose sleeves seems much too short for his arms. His eyes sparkle and his mustache twitches, and he seems as tall as a weather vane on the top of the barn. Removing his hat, he bows low. “Well, good day, folks. What can I help you with? This here is a regular gen'ral store on wheels! Anything you want or need. I have it. Needles or tubs, buttons or pans - jewelry and fancy perfume, too!" As you walk around the strange wagon, your eyes widen with wonder. There are pans, kettles, tools, and things you never saw before hanging on the sides. At the back is a door that opens at the top. You can see bolts of cloth, kegs, wash tubs, and hundreds of little boxes.

One of the treasures he carries is a very special book by one of my near-and-dear friends, Yvonne Blake. The book? A Home for Phoebe.

Meet Yvonne Blake...

God has blessed Yvonne with an interesting childhood. She's lived in the deserts of Arizona, the tropic islands of the Bahamas, the rugged hills of New York, the farmlands of mid-Maine. Her father was a school teacher and pastor, and her mother was a nurse. Yvonne's memory is a parade of settings, experiences, and characters to use in her writing.

Yvonne's husband is her steady rock, loving his Lord and family. Raising a family of eight children, in Searsport, Maine, has been her focus over the last thirty years, also giving her storerooms of material to draw from. Striving to do their best, regardless of the opinions of others, they have often lived out of step with the rest of the world.

Now that Yvonne's children have grown, she's chosen to stay home and write, releasing all the stories bottled in her mind. Her prayer is to be used of the Lord, to encourage and bless others with her writing.

A Home for Phoebe

A Home for Phoebe is an historical novel of an Indian woman and a young girl wandering the hills of the Hudson Valley during the mid 1800's.

One flees prejudice, while the other yearns for a home.

Through the friendship of a peddler, a blind granny, and blacksmith's family, they learn of forgiveness and faith.

You can purchase A Home for Phoebe on Amazon.

 Find Yvonne online at her website, her blog, and on Facebook.

 Yvonne will be giving away a free copy of A Home for Phoebe at the end of the month, drawing a name from those whose comment on the blogs or on her author page on Facebook. 

 Be sure to travel along with Zeke the peddler to learn more about Yvonne and A Home for Phoebe. Their next stop will be at Catrina Bradley's blog, on Wednesday, April 3rd. 

You never know what surprises you'll discover when you travel with Zeke, so don't miss out!  See you at Cat's place on Wednesday.

Tweet

Open and Willing

Confession: The word focus can give me the heebie-jeebies.
No, not the focus on a camera, although I’ve been known to have trouble with that too. I’m talking about the word focus when it comes to blogs.

I’m kinda auditing Edie Melson’s course on blogging. I love Edie’s teaching and always learn something from her. She really knows those fine points, those little details that I love discovering, so that’s why I’m buzzing through her lessons and some of the responses. I want to learn. I want to stay somewhat on top of what I love and do.

But of course there’s that focus word…

How things look with the wrong focus!

I knew I’d see it. I expected it and was braced for it.
But I still wasn’t prepared for it.

After reading through several lessons, I had to leave the computer. I needed space and time to think.

What’s my focus here?
That led to… What’s the focus of my life? That one was easier. Obedience. I want my life to bring glory to God.

Does that tie in to my blog?
Yes.

I thought about the things Edie told us to—LoL, the very same things I’ve taught on here…
I thought about posts and comments and what others have told me in relation to my blog because I care about my readers and their thoughts and what they like and don’t.

And I kept coming back to how my personal focus affects and ties into my blog focus.
Is it a platform? After all, platform is often a key reason for blogging. No. In many ways, I don’t really care about a platform. I mean, if God wants me to stand in a corner and whisper to myself, I’ll do that.

Then I stop and think about THAT.

I’ve pulled away from my online commitments—the blogs I contributed to, and dearly love. This year could be a year of silence for me. I thought about Amy Carmichael, who spent time in silence, not that she chose to but because God chose it for her. I could be lining up for a modern version of that. Could I…would I…accept that?

Another thing some friends have been chatting about is letting go.

Am I willing to let go of my voice here on my blog?

I recently unclenched my hands—letting go of those online commitments. Sometimes it feels like my hands are empty even though they’re still so very busy.

Now it’s time to be open to the things God puts in my hands.

Even if that is silence.

My point is this:

Am I willing to be obedient even if it means silence?

What about you? Are you staying open and willing to what God has for you this year?

Tweet

Dirt Rings

The other day we moved a big, old piece of furniture out of the back room—you know the one, where everything you don’t know what to do with is put because you aren’t quite ready to fully let go of it. The time had come to move out the behemoth so we could reclaim that space. It had been there for over ten years and I couldn’t move it to clean under it all that time. You can imagine the mess it left behind, especially since it was only steps away from the back door.

With that out of the way, I attacked the area with hot soapy water and a scrub brush. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but the water turned muddy. In my defense, country dirt infiltrates everywhere, and ten years’ worth meant a lot of dirt. Scrub, rinse, get fresh water, repeat. The stain is still there, but at least I know it’s a clean stain now. Thankfully, it’s hidden and I’ll be doing a lot of cleaning there in the months to come.

Once the job was done, I was called away to tend Toby and that groadie bucket was forgotten for a couple days. I just found it and washed it. Inside and out. It took some scrubbing to get it clean but I didn’t want to have to clean my cleaning bucket before using it the next time. I went to put it away and happened to see the bottom. It was muddy!

I was setting myself up. Cleaning with that bucket with the dirty bottom would have left dirt rings wherever I set it, even though it was clean inside and out.

The same thing happens in my life. Often I’ll carefully clean the inside and the outside, but neglect the base. After all, it’s not seen. It seems like it’s not important. Although it may not be seen, the effects of the dirt will be, and it will always be when I don’t want them to be—after I’ve cleaned another area and expect the job to be done and everything clean and looking pristine.

It’s worth the extra time to clean right. Inside, outside, upside-down. After all, God already knows it’s there. The only ones we’re fooling is ourselves and a few people around us, and that’s only until the dirt shows up. And it always does.

Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean;

Remove the evil of your deeds from My sight.

Cease to do evil,

Learn to do good;

Seek justice…

“Come now, and let us reason together,”

Says the LORD,

“Though your sins are as scarlet,

They will be as white as snow;

Thought they are red like crimson,

They will be like wool.”

Isaiah 1:16-18 NAS

Tweet

His Song in the Night

I'm part of a Proverbs study group that is also committed to memorizing Scripture. We've been chatting about following and resting and prayer.

Many of us fall asleep at night praying, or wake up in the middle of the night and pray ourselves back to sleep.

We're finding that maybe praying Scripture at night is a good way to go...

I mulled this over last night as I lay in bed, awake and praying. 

Praying Scripture.

His song with me.

I like that.

Another reason to memorize Scripture.

Interested in this Proverbs study group? Check out Jennifer Slattery's site, or click her to simply join us.

What about you? Have you been memorizing lately?
What's your favorite Scripture to quote or meditate on at night?

Tweet

This Season

Change is simply part of our lives. If we ever quit changing we become stagnant.

I learned a lot in 2012. The hard way. A year ago I wasn’t willing to do what I suspected I needed to do. In fact, I dug my heels in and resisted as long as I could. The results weren’t pretty. You know how it is when you have to pry something forcibly out of a child’s hand? Well, that was me. And I know better. Much better.

But God is faithful and merciful. And ever-so loving.

Last week I unfisted my hand. As my fingers extended, relief, peace and great joy came flooding back.

Why did I wait so long?

Toby's view as we travel.

This season of my life will be full of change. Not only are the kids getting older but we might be on the road more with Toby and Fonzie—working with them. After traveling this last fall, first to Puerto Rico to visit my sister, then to a fair in Missouri to learn the monkey business, then to Arizona to see and help my parents, then back again with the family, I realized that keeping up with my online responsibilities and commitments would be impossible. As it is, the computer time I had in 2012 was spent mostly in meeting online due dates and fulfilling responsibilities there. I did very little real writing, even though I had both fiction and nonfiction things I wanted to work on.

Because I had fisted my hand around those online commitments, I wasn’t able to write (not even to fulfill those commitments!) and I was frustrated and felt like I was living on a stationary wheel in a gerbil cage.

Thankfully, I did learn something last year, albeit the hard way. It’s time to let go.

The girl who loved to blog has set it all aside.

I’ve officially withdrawn from the sites I contributed to, and loved contributing to and from ALL my online commitments. Oh, I’ll still be here on my own blog—as I can…if I can. No posting schedule unless it’s a series that is completely written and scheduled ahead of time, before it starts, and no pressure on me.

My hope is that this year, as I focus on our family and jump starting the monkey business, that I’ll take the computer time I have, whether it be chunks of time between trips or slivers of time squeezed amongst the other things, that I’ll invest them in working on my fiction and nonfiction.

I still love blogging. I’ve missed it greatly while at the same time I appreciate the breaks I took in 2012. They helped me see some things I needed to accept, and the determination to take action on them.

Now that my fist is uncurled and my hand is empty and open, I’m excited to see what God puts it in.

How about you? Are you clinging to something you need to let go of? Now is a good time to unfist your hand.

Tweet

The Nut House Residents

Welcome to this week's a 2 z
and the letter

N. If you're joining in the meme, be sure to link up with us at the end of this post. Find more info about the a 2 z meme here.

Residents of The Nut House...

My husband and younger boys.

My daughters.

Me and Toby.

Below is my oldest, playing with one of his toys.

Yup. That's all of us.
Some of us in our normal state and
some of us in our goofiness
and for some of us, goofiness is our normal state.

Not that I would ever mention any names...
but a picture is worth a thousand words.
hehe.


If you're joining us for the a2z meme by posting on your blog this week about the letter N, be sure to add your name and the link to that particular post in the linky gadget here.

Tweet