The Awkwardness

This morning our pastor started a new series on ReEngaging Relationships and he talked about how it can be awkward to resume meeting in our small groups and churches. How we can become comfortable with social distancing. I have to admit. I can relate. I’m such an introvert that I’m very comfortable, too comfortable, being by myself. It’s easier to fade away when I’m by myself. It’s easier to slip into disobedience and apathy by myself. By myself it’s easier to think that what I should be doing doesn’t really matter. But it does.

You see, I’ve been in this position before. Many times. I’ve felt that God has called me to things, given me specific things to do and I’ve not done them. I’ve chickened out. The awkwardness of restarting, of walking back in to a place I used to be all the time has pushed me away. I’ve been here, gone through all the emotions, and all the other times I’ve ended up walking away. Because of the awkwardness I’ve felt, because of the fear, the knowing that I’m not enough, knowing that I’ve failed repeatedly. So, I wrestled with God this morning. I want to obey. I want pick up this thing He’s set before me. But I’m a chicken and this awkwardness is…beyond awkward. It’s uncomfortable.

After wrestling I took my first baby step at reentry. Moments later, actually, right after that last paragraph, Pastor Michael finished his sermon and my ear picked up on his closing prayer (I had already listened to the service once and was tuning in again) and I turned up the volume on the TV so I could join in on the worship, one more time today. But Pastor Michael nor God were not finished with me yet. This is what I heard that had me laughing and sobbing at the same time…

As we respond to God’s Word, I challenge you… It’s worth it. What God desires to do in you is profound—better than you can imagine. Better than it’s ever been. We’re not going back. We’re going forward. And I challenge you to refuse to slide into a place of apathy. I challenge you to refuse to slide into a place that feels like comfort, but actually it’s unhealthy. Let us commit, even while we’re social distancing, to continue to engage, to fight through the awkward as we worship together and as we work hard to find ways where together we follow Him. Together we experience all that God has for us. May YOU receive His challenge, His comfort and that truth of the Gospel today. (Pastor Michael Nave, Cornerstone Church, Marion, IL July 12, 2020.)

Did God hear me when I was crying out to Him in my journal this morning? YES. Does He hear you when you cry out to Him? YES. What is it that you’re putting off because it feels awkward? Is it attending church? Going to your small group or Bible study? Is it doing what He’s called you to do?

I challenge you… It’s worth it. What God desires to do in you is profound—better than you can imagine. Better than it’s ever been. We’re not going back. We’re going forward.

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