When I Grow Up…

My older daughter, years ago.

Have you ever noticed how hard it is deciding what you want to be when you grow up? Please, if you’re one who’s always known, don’t feel you have to tell me. At forty-mumble-something years old, I still think about what I want to be when I grow up. Oh, I know some things I’d like to do, but then I begin the second-guessing and then the doubt sets in. Next thing I know, a year has passed and I’m being slapped upside the head with a question that clears the glaze for a moment.

Sunday was one of those times. In Sunday School our teacher threw out a question and it’s been rattling around inside my head ever since.

The question?

If you had no restrictions (money, time, health, family issues, etc.), what would you like to accomplish for God?

Some of the ladies knew their answer without having to think about it. One lady would love to match resources with needs for a mission board or church ministries. Another wanted to be able to pray for and with people, and yet another wanted to rescue babies.

Same girl but not too long ago. ;-)

I wanted to slide under the table. There was no way I could admit to wanting to become a hermit who split her time between her comfy-cozy cave on a deserted island and the hammock in the palm tree—on the deserted island.

Too often I feel like I don’t even know what I want to be when I grow up, and knowing what I want to accomplish for God is tons bigger and far more important than that. What’s a girl to do? Hide in the willows and wail?

Okay, so that’s what I want to do, but it’s not the right answer.

So tell me... 

How do you figure out what you want to accomplish for God? 
What would YOU like to accomplish for God?

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Life in Limbo

Me and Toby.

That would be where I'm currently at. Limbo. My least favorite place to be. This time around is different though. I'm okay with not knowing what's coming next in my life--it's become normal for me. I'm okay with being between things--one thing has ended and the next hasn't yet begun. It's a stage--temporary, like the doldrums.

But this is different...

After a life of being in church, I've missed attending for the better part of six months. The first months I was in Arizona, twice, then I was sick for the whole month of January, and then we worked the monkeys every weekend in Cincinnati (five hours from where we live in southern Illinois) and church wasn't an option. I'm so thankful that God gave us the Bible--His Word to us that we are free to read any time we want. I'm also thankful for my commentaries, especially good ol' Warren Wiersbe. His commentary filled the gap left by missing all those sermons at church.

But missing church stinks. I missed the preaching, the corporate worship, my friends. I feel totally unplugged.

In Sunday School, our fabulous ladies' class teacher talked about all the jobs there are in the church and how God has equipped each believer with a spiritual gift so that together we can do what needs to be done. We talked about those jobs and the spiritual gifts that would be useful in those positions. Later, before the evening service, I was caught by one of the men on the nominating committee (it's that time of year in our church) and he verified that I needed to be taken out of my spot. It hurt.

Why did I need out? Because there's a good chance that being in church every Sunday like we once were isn't going to be the norm.

Playing with Toby.

After being so plugged in and involved, becoming a spectator... almost a visitor ...is hard.

Our Sunday School teacher left us with this challenge for the week:

How am I using the spiritual gifts God gave me?

To be honest, I wanted to cry. I don't feel like I'm using my gifts at all. I've not been in church, I've not been part of a ladies' Bible study, and I've not been writing or blogging--all ways that I contributed to God's family in the past. All things that I miss greatly. So I've been doing some heavy duty thinking about this. During this season of not being plugged in at my local church, what can I do use the spiritual gifts God has given me to use for Him?

So tell me, how are you using the spiritual gifts God has given you?

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