Just Call Me Casper

Sometimes I want to wave my hands in the air and ask if anyone hears me.

Did you say something, Mom? 

I hate feeling like I’m invisible.

I hate feeling like I’m talking inside a bubble.

I think I’ve turned into Charlie Brown’s teacher. Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah.

Am I alone feeling like this? Is it a mom-of-teenagers-and-older-kids thing?

The other day, after introducing myself to a group and getting no response (none!!), and after saying something to my son and getting no response (until I reminded him I’m mom), and after saying something and having my husband talk over me, changing what I said, I began to feel kinda… vapory. Floaty.  Was I really there? Did I really say anything? Maybe I just imagined it all… But I knew I hadn’t imagined those things.

Then I got downright mad.

I did. (Does it count if hormones were screaming in the background?)

I don’t get mad like that often. Thank goodness. But then the edge of anger left and I fell into a pit I hate. Self-pity. ugh.

After wallowing around in self-pity for way too long I decided to just be a ghost. I like being a hermit so settling into ghosthood shouldn’t be bad. Right? Talking to myself is normal. At least for me it is.

But then I heard that still, small Voice.

I hear you.

…if anyone is God-fearing and does His will, He hears him. John 9:31b NAS

But know that the Lord has set apart the godly man for Himself; The Lord hears when I call to Him. Psalm 4:3 NAS

I’m not talking in a bubble.

God hears me.

And when I’m honest with myself, I know the others hear me too—they’re just busy in their own world to acknowledge mine. It’s okay. I get it. Sadly, I’ve done the same to others.

Just knowing God hears me, and listens to me, was enough to pull me out of my self-pity.  I mean—the God of the Universe hears me.  Me! The spoiled, whining, self-pitying bump-on-the-log me.

It’s okay if others don’t acknowledge what I say. I can be Casper—the friendly ghost.

Because God hears me!

And He hears you too.

So tell me, how do you combat the I’m-feeling-invisible monster?

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