Monday, December 08, 2008

No Door Mats Allowed

This week At the Well is hosted by Laurie Ann at A Magnolia's Heart Beats and she's chosen a hot topic for us: Submission. Here's what she gave us to get us going and work with...
The Submissive Heart of the Titus 2 Wife; Living the Life, Teaching the Life

As Titus 2 Women, we are called to teach live our lives reverently and teach what is good. The result of that teaching is that the younger ladies will be subject to their husbands. Life in the this day and age doesn't make all God's commands easy to follow. Let's dispel some myths and see if we are living a life that honors God and teaches other women to subject to their husbands At the Well this week.

Would others view you as being subject to your husband?

Does the phrase "being subject to your husband" bring to mind positive or negative thoughts?

Do you find being subject to your husband an easy command to obey or a hard one to follow?

How can you teach other women to be subject to their husbands?

Submission. It sounds so good. But it's so hard to do. Oh, not necessarily when my husband is doing the things I want to do anyway, but when things aren't going my way, wow, is it ever hard. And then, if you combine that with when I get angry? Man-a-livin' is it ever hard then. But that's still not when it's the hardest to submit to my husband. It's when I feel he's leading the wrong way, and that I know better, that's when the submission-thing is the absolute toughest!

So what's a girl to do? Be a door mat? Most definitely not! God did not create us to be door mats. We're to be helpmates to our husbands, and although the basics seem to be the same across the board, the fine details vary from marriage to marriage.

In our home, Jim manages the finances, but I do all the bookkeeping—the finger work. Jim is very wise with our finances and makes great decisions, but the bookwork weighs him down, not to mention the time factor. By doing the finger work, I can help my husband and help carry the load. Also, by doing the bookwork, I'm involved with our finances, which helps especially when money is tight—I know and can plan our household budgeting and purchasing accordingly.

One of the things that has helped me the most, is to respect my husband. When I chose to respect him, as a man and a leader, I found that I followed (submitted!) him much more willingly. It was a choice I had to consciously make, and until I did, we were miserable. Maybe that's why Paul says, “and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33)

Would others say I'm submissive to my husband? Yes. Would Jim say I'm submissive to him? He'd probably say sometimes, and I have to agree with him. In many ways I'm submissive, but in other ways I'm not. But I'm working on those areas, and I'm a work in progress, which gives me hope.

As far as what I'd pass on to younger women—respect your husband. Give him the benefit of the doubt and trust God to move his heart.
The king's heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He wishes. ~Proverbs 21:1
If God can direct the king's heart like water in His hand, and He can, then directing our husband's heart is an easy matter for our God!! Many times I've prayed that God would direct me through Jim, that God would direct his heart. It's a huge blessing and comfort to me every time.

We're not to be door mats. We can thoughtfully and respectfully voice our opinions, and more importantly, we can pray, with confidence, that God would direct our husband's hearts.

My dear friend, Joanne, is having a giveaway this week (well, two if you count the Holiday Expo with the Internet Cafe which we're both doing--here's mine: Holiday Giveaway) ANYway, Joanne has hit her 100th post and is celebrating in a special way. Check it out!

9 comments:

  1. Amen sister! If it's hard for us living wives to submit, I can imagine how much harder it must be for a doormat! HA! No really, doormats are not help-meets, they are doormats and like you so wisely wrote, we are not doormats.

    Did I just repeat myself a hundred times? Okay, it's the end of the day and I'm getting tired. I better stop now before I keep repeating myself or writing about nothing. :-)

    Bless you dear sister!
    Sunny

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  2. Well, I love your post! I really liked this, "So what's a girl to do? Be a door mat? Most definitely not! God did not create us to be door mats. We're to be helpmates to our husbands, and although the basics seem to be the same across the board, the fine details vary from marriage to marriage."

    It does vary for each of us as we each have differing husbands and circumstances, but the attitude of trusting God and give respect(even if it is unearned) is the same self-denying way of following Christ for each of us... and it aint easy at all!!! But the more I find myself surrendering, the more I find my load is a lot easier. It's hard to just let go.

    And I love the passage in proverbs... one of my favorites, I pray it all the time!!!

    Sheila

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  3. That is the hard part, is when we are sure they are heading the wrong way! Because I know everything and I know better...right? LOL!

    What a gracious, loving Father we have! Thank you for sharing today.

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  4. The king's heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He wishes. ~Proverbs 21:1

    Loved the scripture that you shared with us. The power does not within the wife or even the husband but with the Lord.

    -Blessings, Laurie

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  5. Ooooh - I'm more of a work in progress than you are. I'll be dragged along on your coattails. Excellent, EXCELLENT advice that I SO need to take to heart (thanks for the plug too! huggles!)

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  6. I loved the Scripture you used - great post! Thanks for participating At the Well!

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  7. Incredible post, Peej. I appreciate the wisdom God gave you in reminding us that situations vary from marriage to marriage. HUGE insight, because we can so often get wrapped up in comparison. Personal, authentic, well-balanced, anointed post, my friend.

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  8. Bless you! This is a tough one for me...I needed those words of wisdom.

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  9. Thank you Ms. Patty for your guidance in this subject. Would you be willing to expound on how I can respect my husband and trust that God will direct his heart? I really need help submitting to my husband and respecting him. I do not make his calling easy.

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