Sometimes I want to wave my hands in the air and ask if
anyone hears me.
 |
| Did you say something, Mom? |
I hate feeling like I’m invisible.
I hate feeling like I’m talking inside a bubble.
I think I’ve turned into Charlie Brown’s teacher.
Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah.
Am I alone feeling like this? Is it a
mom-of-teenagers-and-older-kids thing?
The other day, after introducing myself to a group and
getting no response (none!!), and after saying something to my son and getting
no response (until I reminded him I’m mom), and after saying something and
having my husband talk over me, changing what I said, I began to feel kinda…
vapory. Floaty. Was I really
there? Did I really say anything? Maybe I just imagined it all… But I knew I
hadn’t imagined those things.
Then I got downright mad.
I did. (Does it count if hormones were screaming in the
background?)
I don’t get mad like that often. Thank goodness. But then
the edge of anger left and I fell into a pit I hate. Self-pity. ugh.
After wallowing around in self-pity for way too long I
decided to just be a ghost. I like being a hermit so settling into ghosthood
shouldn’t be bad. Right? Talking to myself is normal. At least for me it is.
But then I heard that still, small Voice.
I hear you.
…if anyone is God-fearing and does His will, He
hears him. John 9:31b NAS
But know that the Lord has set apart the godly man for Himself;
The
Lord hears when I call to Him. Psalm 4:3 NAS
I’m not talking in a bubble.
God hears me.
And when I’m honest with myself, I know the others hear me
too—they’re just busy in their own world to acknowledge mine. It’s okay. I get
it. Sadly, I’ve done the same to others.
Just knowing God hears me, and listens to me, was enough to
pull me out of my self-pity.
I
mean—the God of the Universe hears me.
Me! The spoiled, whining, self-pitying bump-on-the-log me.
It’s okay if others don’t acknowledge what I say. I can be Casper—the
friendly ghost.
Because God hears me!
And He hears you too.
So tell me, how do you combat the I’m-feeling-invisible monster?