I was in the midst of “Which way do you want me to go in 2012?” prayers and felt like I was talking into the wind. Each year I like to outline a few goals. Not resolutions. Those simply do not work for me. They anchor me to my failure whereas goals spur me onward. So I was seeking God's direction. And getting nowhere fast. Oh, I know a general direction but the specifics I was seeking were white washed and it was frustrating me.
I wanted a word for 2012.
All I had was static fuzz and the impression that I simply need to rest and trust God.
In my bull-headedness I was trying to learn what direction God wanted me to go so I could take over. So I could say (or even just think) “Roger that, God. I'll take it from here.” and go on my merry way, plotting, planning, scheming, and doing.
But that's not what God wanted from me or for me.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and let your heart take courage;
yes, wait for the Lord.
He wanted me to be still.
He wanted me to hold tight to His hand.
He wanted me to follow His lead on a moment by moment basis. Sensitive to His leading, not racing ahead doing my own thing.
'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.'
God knows the plan. He knows the direction and He knows what He wants me to do. If I hold tight to Him, He will lead me.
Lead me in Your truth and teach me,
for You are the God of my salvation;
for You I wait all the day. ~Psalm 25:5
And when I'm waiting and all around me is still looking like a white out, then I need to wait and continue to hold on to Him. I don't need to see where I'm going. I need only hold His hand. When it's time, He'll lead me forward, whether I can see or not.
Though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay.
Do I know what 2012 is going to hold for me? Absolutely not.
Do I know the direction I'm going? Not really.
But I know that I need to rest in God and trust Him to lead me through the white out. I don't need to be in control. I only need to hold tight.
Trust and obey.
There's no other way.
Dear Heavenly Father, forgive me for trying to take control. I want Your will, in Your way, in Your time. Help me to hold fast to Your hand and be sensitive to Your leading in all things. You can see through the storm and You know the way at all times. Make me know Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths. In Your Name I pray, amen.