I've Missed You

Have you returned somewhere after being gone a real long time? You know that feeling of hesitancy? Nervousness? Even a touch of fear mixed in with the anticipation… Will they remember me? Will they still like me? Have our lives moved on so much that I won’t fit in or that we won’t connect like we used to?

That’s how I’m feeling.
I’ve been gone a long time. I never dreamed I would be gone…silent…for so long. During that time a lot of water has gone under the bridge (yes, a cliché. Forgive me?). We’ve both changed, grown. But friendships can survive time and distance. I hope ours can too.

I’ve missed you.

I’ve come to visit with you often, but like Zacharias, nothing came out when I opened my mouth, set my fingers to keyboard. There was so much I wanted to say. So much to tell you, but it was all too fresh. Too raw in my heart and mind. I didn’t know where to start. I didn’t know how to start. So I’d leave the keyboard, the blank page disappearing into the fog I was walking through. But I never forgot you. I often thought of you, prayed for you, my friends.

But now it’s time.
The burning in me is greater than the hesitancy, the nervousness, and the fear. I’ve remembered why I came here... Why I write.

Obedience.
And obedience leads to joy.
I can feel it returning even now. Joy welling up, clogging my throat and filling my eyes…

And now that I’ve started, the words are coming fast. Crowding, anxious to catch up with you.

I know I’ve changed over the time. My thoughts, my actions, my voice. Age and experience do that to us. But inside I’m still me. And I bet you’re still you, changed but still you.

Cookie, one of our newest additions to the family.

Remember the old nursery rhyme… Pussy cat, pussy cat, where have you been? Like the cat, I feel like I’ve been to London to visit the queen…only I’ve seen so much more than the queen. LoL. Family, fairs, fun. Mom-stuff, monkey-stuff, mail-stuff. More change than I ever, EVER would’ve guessed. But through it all: God’s presence and faithfulness. Always. In all circumstances and all situations.

And now? Now I manage a shipping warehouse. I have a wonderful, God-given job that I love. My boys go to the warehouse with me everyday and are able to finish their homeschooling even though I work full-time. The family is constantly in-and-out of the warehouse, visiting, working, eating lunch, hanging out. It’s wonderful. It’s like having my cake and eating it too. Something I’ve always enjoyed. ::grin::

So tell me, what have you been up to? What’s new in your world?
I’ve missed you.

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