Patient I'm Not

The other day my awesome agent, Linda Glaz, called me patient—something I’ve been called many times but have never been comfortable with.
My two oldest demonstrating how much I stink at times.
I’m really not a patient person. In fact, many times I’m quite IMpatient. Just ask my kids and my husband. They’ll assure you that patience is NOT one of my virtues.

Many times I’ve tried explaining to people that I’m really not a patient person, but I gave up when they didn’t believe me on the first or even second try. Now I don’t even bother trying to change their mind and it’s nice believing their misconception of me. It makes me feel better about myself. I feel more mature, put together, spiritual.

Sounds sickening, doesn’t it?
Yeah. It does. Especially when the truth is ugly.

It’s not patience people see when they see me sitting so calm and smiley.
It’s laziness.

Ouch.
That’s a big, bad word in my vocabulary.
But it’s true. It’s true of me.

Why did Linda call me patient? I have a manuscript she’s been shopping and an editor is showing interest in it. (YAY!!) If there’s one thing you can count on in the publishing business, it’s that things take time. Lots of time. It’s hurry up and wait. And wait. And wait. Quite often I’m okay with all that waiting. But not because I’m patient.

I’m okay with it because as long as I’m waiting, I don’t have to be doing anything with it. I can complacently bob on the waves of that particular harbor, waiting.

It’s sheer laziness on my part.

My oldest masquerading.
Laziness has often masqueraded as patience in my life.
Laziness is not a virtue to be proud of. Just look at some of what the Bible has to say about laziness…
The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the soul of the diligent is made fat. ~Prov.13:4

The sluggard does not plow after the autumn, so he begs during the harvest and has nothing. ~Prov 20:4

The desire of the sluggard puts him to death, for his hands refuse to work; ~Prov 21:25
Nasty, huh?!

I’ve been working hard to change things in my life. I want what looks like patience to BE patience, not laziness. It’s not an easy change to make but it’s a worthwhile one.

How about you? Does laziness masquerade as patience in your life? Maybe laziness isn’t an issue for you but something else is. Are you ready to call it what it is and deal with it?

8 comments:

  1. Great post Patty!

    I've never been accused of being patient! I hate to wait for anything. But I do love the word "sluggard." :)

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    1. LoL, Tom. Yes, that word sluggard is a doozie, isn't it?

      Thanks for stopping by! =]

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  2. LOVE the pictures. And my "patience" is more likely to be me just not expressing my impatience. Keeping it inside and only sharing it with those I'm totally comfortable with. Keeping up that facade, you know?

    Great post, hon. Praying God does a work in BOTH of us.

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    1. Oh Jo, I can so totally relate to that! I'm guilty of that too. =[ And yet, sharing our IMpatience with others isn't the key either. It's one of those things that can be infectious, yanno? It's one of those things where "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

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  3. Your are patient and you aren't lazy. Heavens, girl, you're a workaholic! So maybe laid back is a better expression.

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    1. LoL, Linda.I'm glad you see that side of me. My husband has often said I have two extremes. Maybe this is one of those areas?

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  4. It's so hard to know the balance between the extremes, isn't it? And what I am verses what Satan wants to accuse me of. I think I may appear patient when all I'm doing is caving to someone else and inside I'm churning! Thanks for your transparancy.

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    1. You're so right, Karen. That balance is tricky. Not too long ago today I caught myself thinking something that wasn't right and was quickly leading to discouragement and I thought of your comment here--what I am versus what Satan wants to accuse me of. It was so nice to stop my thoughts and say NO! That's not the truth...

      Yes, that balance is tricky, and something we can keep an eye out for. =]

      Thanks so much for stopping by and making me think on this some more. =]

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