Monday, July 02, 2012

Me, Aligned and Available

Having a persona has made it so I could align my internal life and my online person (which are a close fit) with who people see in person—IF I’ve stepped into character.

A while back my husband and I were out on a date and we stopped by the dance hall where our two oldest were working. Are you gasping yet? I still do! LoL. But it’s an alcohol-free, smokeless, family environment country ballroom dance hall where grandparents often bring their grandkids—but I’m a missionary kid and dancing was taboo, and dance halls weren’t even mentioned. It all added up to massive overload and it caught me unprepared.

Shortly after arriving at the dance hall we were pulled out of the kitchen, where the kids were, to the corner of the dance floor by our outgoing hosts (who love my kids) so they could teach us a simple dance. Everyone there decided to watch, much to my horror. I made it through the dance steps, moved to the side and TOTALLY shut down emotionally. If someone had touched me I would’ve shattered.

It was bad.

Afterward, on the way home I fell apart, but as I thought and cried, I knew exactly what happened and how to fix it. Any time I find myself in a similar situation, I need to step into character and let Peejers handle things.

I’ve used my persona to teach a children's class at church, lead a womens’ Bible study, reach out to people, and teach at a small writing conference. All things I couldn’t do before because I didn’t have a persona readily available. I couldn't even join in the Sunday School discussion without almost passing out due to the thundering my heart was doing. It’s still a struggle for me and sometimes leaves me exhausted, but I know I CAN do this and I no longer have to be trapped inside, wishing for a keyboard to communicate.

Yes, I’m a certified wall flower, but at least now I can step into character when I need to. It’s been like I was given a pass to an amusement park I had only peeked through the fence at, wishing I could enter. A place I can go now when I want, or need, to.

Photo courtesy of FanPop
Remember
  • people want you to do well.
  • We are not called to success. We are called to obedience. God's job is to take care of the rest.
  • "If God is in it, God will do it." This takes the pressure off me and frees me to be me and present what I believe God is doing, with my emphasis on Him and not myself. ~Jen Slattery
  • Have smile, will travel.
  • Smile and wave, girls, smile and wave.
  • It's not about me but others and helping them.

On a Gaither program, someone asked Linda Randle. "How did you get with the Gaithers? How did you get established in gospel music?"

She said, "You get with God and God will hook you up where He wants you to be." She said she doesn't care if she is considered the best southern gospel singer but now she just cares if she things she is centered in God's will, whatever that is.

I believe it was Terry Burns who said...
It's not that we're pretending to be something we aren't. We're projecting what it would look like if we bring out the more outgoing side of our nature.

So tell me, what does the more outgoing side of you look like?

4 comments:

  1. Patty, thanks for being so transparent. The more outgoing side of me looks like someone looking another in the eye when she talks. *gasp*

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've seen you when you were uncomfortable and it's a big change because all of us are used to your 'online' presence. It's so funny how we are different 'in print' and 'in person' at times. And we all will switch roles. I saw that last week when I was with my group of friends in FL. Me, the quiet one would switch places and take a leadership role. Was really interesting. Not everyone is the same all the time and it's fun to push your limits sometimes and do fun and crazy, outside your norm. <3

    ReplyDelete
  3. LoL, Shelley, I get that. Oh-so well!!

    Laury, that's a great example! You've seen the real me--online and in real life. The goofy side and the quiet, people-watcher side. Both sides are me.

    Online I'm chatty and far more outgoing than I am in real life. My online presence is actually a huge part of what I built my persona on--it's me on the inside. My persona is the in real life extension of my online self. It's helped me see that I could tap into that source and use it, without a keyboard and monitor in front of me.

    It's still a struggle and there's still a difference but now I can step into the persona...I can draw from that source, with confidence and some level of comfort.

    It's a great feeling and so very freeing!! =]

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wondering if I need a wallflower persona ;) Great post, Peejers (and Patty!).

    ReplyDelete

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