Fickle, Failure, & Faithful
These three words have been on my mind a lot this past few weeks. And I do mean a lot.
Yes, I am fickle. I'll admit that right up front. But it's not just girlie fickleness—it's that many times I honestly do not care which way I go. (When I have an opinion I'm just plain mulish. Ask my husband. *eye roll*) So when I see things opening up one direction and feel a leading, I'm good to go with it, and I do. But that tends to lead toward... failure. Or seeming failure.
How so? Well, as I venture through different doors I may get part way through and the door closes on me. That doesn't bother me at all—I see it as God clearly closing the door. Other times I get through the door and I'm ready to take off. I have everything prepped and ready and I'm excited. But the room that open door led to is empty. Not a single thing in there. Failure.
Or is it?
Well, I know from experience that people looking on often see it as failure. And fickleness. Now, I really don't like being seen as a fickle failure. Does anyone? But yanno, the it ain't over 'til it's over... and it ain't over yet! (See my eyes rolling as I snicker?)
This is where faithfulness comes in. Well, actually, faithfulness is woven throughout as I try to faithfully stay close to God and faithfully obey, and faithfully evaluate where things are. And this is exactly where I've been the last couple weeks: evaluating. (And that, my friends, will be another post! It's in the works.)
I've walked through a door recently and everything came together beautifully. Everything. I was ready to run and prepared for a marathon. But the starting gun never fired, leaving me toed in at the starting line. The door that was flung open to me led to a room that's empty. Not a single thing there. All the encouragement and help and cheering on that I've received and now when friends ask, excited for me, I have to tell them it opened to... nothing. Since I prayed much over the event (and still do) I'm not upset by it—but every now and then those first two f words ambush me. Yanno, fickle and failure.
So tell me,
where do you think faithfulness fits with fickle and failure?
Does seeming failure imply fickleness, or worse, faithLESSness?
My 3 Fs
Written by
Patty Wysong
Labels:
Discouragement,
Doubt,
Fear,
Focus,
God's Will,
Patty Wysong,
Seeking God
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Thinking on this. Hard. And praying.
ReplyDeleteFickle and failure COULD be faithlessness, but in your case, I don't think so. You never FAILED to seek God and His will, and you never FAILED to follow through til the (dead)end. You never give up. That, my dear, is faithFULLness.
ReplyDeleteLove and hugs
Cat
Thanks for the encouragement, Cat!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I have failed to seek God and failed to follow through to the end, or dead end. =[
I've failed in other ways too--and this is all leading to that next post I mentioned. FaithLESSness does fit in there somewhere... I'm still really puzzling this out as I evaluate things....
Love you, Cat!! (LoL, you too, Jo! I can't wait to hear what you think about this.)
Remember that He sought us first and He has a plan! I am often discouraged with myself and my performance, but God reminds me of His faithfulness and love. When I'm thankful, I'm happy. " Godliness with contentment is great gain." Asking God to give you joy!( Don't forget to ask Him for those things!)
ReplyDeleteI personally believe God is even more faithful when we are trying really hard. A person who tries hard has much more character than one for whom being faithful is easy.
ReplyDelete