From Where I Am

You know how it is—you’ve been gone so long that your first time back is awkward. You don’t know what to say, how to explain your absence, or even IF you should explain why you disappeared.

Sometimes things just can’t be explained.
Sometimes the explanation is still too raw. Too personal. Too close.

We’ve all been there at some point. And if you haven’t, you will. Trust me. You will.

This is where I am.
Trying to figure out if it’s time to come back.
Trying to figure out how to break the silence I’ve been in. Processing the pieces in my hand even while enjoying and treasuring those very pieces. It’s an odd and unexpected combination.

I’ve been living by that old maxim “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Only I tweaked it, as I’m prone to do, to “If you don’t have anything upbeat to say, don’t say anything at all.” Being a downer isn’t my style.

Neither was it King David’s. And I need to remember that. David was not a downer. He shouted and danced in praise and worship. He led his people in devotion and worship. But he certainly didn’t feel like it at times. There was nothing easy about his life that would make him an upbeat person. Life threw him many curve balls and it never went as he probably thought it should have, how he planned for it to go. I'm sure things happened to him that left him gasping for air to breathe. He cried and we still see his tears today. He stormed about and we still hear his indignant stomping today.

But he always came back to praise.

O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; 

My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, 

In a dry and weary land where there is no water. 

Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary, 

To see Your power and Your glory. 

Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, My lips will praise You. 

So I will bless You as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name. 

My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness, 

And my mouth offers praises with joyful lips. 

When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches, 

For You have been my help, 

And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy. 

My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me. 

Psalm 63:1-8 NASB

A reminder for us as we hold the broken pieces pieces to make the mosaic of life.

It's time to let the praises ring. 

In spite of the tears.

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