A Step of Obedience

For 7-8 months I have not been obeying. I’ve about reached the point of being miserable because of it. I’m reading and studying God’s Word and praying but I’m still feeling like I’m stranded in a cave half way up the cliff. Nothing in front of me but fog and behind me is a dark cave with who-knows what lurking inside.

I know God has heard me. I know He’s still there. But I feel like I’m lost in the fog. I don’t want to go into the cave. I mean, I really, REALLY do NOT want to go into the cave, but the ledge I’m standing on seems to be getting smaller every day.

So what am I to do?
The simple answer is easy: Obey.
But things…life is never as simple or easy as that. Especially that particular word.
Obey.
But how can I obey when I know what it will involve? I know the time it will require. The focus. The energy. What if it means I have to choose between obedience and some (or worse, all ) of the things I’ve come to treasure?

I know why I feel like I’m lost in the fog.
Why it feels like God is far from me, and the space between us is ever increasing.
Why it feels like God is no longer talking to me.
My head knows He’s still there but my heart is missing His nearness, His voice.
It’s because I haven’t obeyed.
I haven’t done the thing I KNOW He wants for me to do this year.
God’s quit talking to me because I have yet to do the thing He’s already to me to do. I can’t take another step anywhere until I go back and do that one thing.

It’s a truth I’ve seen over and over again in my own life and in my friends’ lives. It’s a truth I enforce in my kids…

Until you do this (whatever this may be)
you cannot move ahead to the next thing.

So here I am, taking a step of obedience.

Dear Lord, forgive me for being so obstinate, for even now digging my heels in, fearful of what obedience will require. I want to obey You. Really I do. I want to feel close to You again. I want the joy and peace…YOUR joy and peace that comes with obedience. Help me to obey You because I cannot obey in my own strength. I’ve been trying and it doesn’t work. Please, Lord, give me YOUR power to obey, to do the thing You’ve given me to do.
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