Thankfully, I've not been sentenced to aloofdom. Over the course of time I've learned a few tricks that have changed my life and how people perceive me. This journey started when I finally surrenedered to God and started writing. I found my way to Faithwriters and discovered I needed a screen name to get on the forum boards. Since I was clueless, I looked around. One name I saw several times was itsjoanne. I liked that her screen name was still part of her so I played with my name. That got me to thinking about who I really was. Throughout my life I've been three different people, at least...
|3rd grade, wearing my favorite shirt.|
Bratty Jo is what close family friends called me when I was just a little girl. For some reason they thought it fit me, but I'm still lost as to why. Hehe.
Peej is who I was as a teen in Ecuador because there was another Patty in the dorm I lived in and it was confusing to have two Pattys. Patty Jo quickly became PJ which, when slurred is Peej. Most of my friends called me Peej and in my mind was synonymous with the more outgoing side of my nature.
|High School graduation.|
Patty is who I grew up to be. Leaving Peej behind, I settled into Patty, the very quiet, shy woman with five homeschooled kids. It's the only side of me people around here had ever seen, but it wasn't who I was, not really. I knew Peej was still in there, constantly yacking in my ear.
Since that's who I am, I chose impeej (I'm Peej) as my Faithwriter screen name, never guessing the life it would trigger. And it's good I didn't know because the knowledge would have been too much for me. The more comfortable I became on the boards, the more Peej stepped forward and assumed control of my online presence. Once again I became more outgoing, more confident, and less restricted within myself. It was truly freeing.
About then I went to a big convention with my two oldest children. They attended sessions while I was volunteer help and was assigned to work in the “Diamond Lounge”. The place was well named. Everyone wore not just one diamond, but a whole impressive collection of diamonds. There I was, a homeschool mom, in the midst of America's upper crust and I was lost. Some of the other volunteers noticed how lost I was and with their help I made it through that long weekend.
Not only did I pull Peej into service, but as I wished my older sister were with me, I realized I could borrow from her. I knew how she acted in these situations. I knew the smile she used and her mannerisms, and because we're so alike I was able to try Cheryl on. From past experience I knew I could pull off acting like Cheryl, after all, I had once convinced our mom I was her, so I set to work and between Peej and Cheryl I was even able to feel somewhat comfortable.
Choosing to try my sister's techniques and to let the Peej side of me take over was a lifesaver and a lesson I've not forgotten.